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2x European Champion, Emilia Tuukkanen shares some home truths about being a competitor. 

Follow Emilia via her athlete page www.facebook.com/EmiliaTuukkanenBJJ

1. You have been so nervous before the fights that you couldn't feel your arms.

2. You have also been so nervous that you seriously considered breaking your finger or leg on purpose to avoid competing.

3. Almost nothing can even compare with the feeling when you are standing on the top of the podium and get that gold medal around your neck.

4. Competing gives you the worst feelings ever, but also the best. Even with the risk of losing or getting injured, you get addicted to the high of winning and seek it obsessively.

5. You know it is bullshit that nerves are supposed to get better with time. Stepping on that mat is still, after hundreds or even thousands of times, nerve-wrecking as hell. You just learn to hide it better.

6. You have had to remind youself that murdering someone will prevent you from competing and training for a looong time when some fitness guy complains about their diet being "so hard", while you have only had one peanut, half a carrot and licked an apple in last 24 hours.

7. Googling your opponent’s and realising you have made a terrible, terrible mistake. Ignorance definitely was bliss.

8. The disappointment of not finding yourself in the IBJJF's/BJJ Pix's etcs official competition photos.

9. But, if you do fine one, you will have it as your profile picture for months.

10. If you appear on some highlight video, even for just one second, you will share the shit out of that video on every social media account possible.

11. Nothing has taught you more about yourself and your personality than competing. For example, before competing you never knew you could be so childish and immature that you would throw stuff around and pout for days after losing. But now you know.

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November 25, 2018 — Jiu Jitsu Style